Chapter Eight

THE INTERNAL WARS: THE ENEMIES WITHIN

Who needs a vindictive ex-spouse when you can self-destruct? Stacy D. Phillips provides the reader with anecdotes, hypothetical situations, advice and moral support in examining how people hurt themselves - and their divorce case - by the way they think and the actions they take.

"Does the suit come in brown, too?" the well-groomed thirty-sevenyear old computer programmer asked.

"Yes, it does. Not just the gray, but brown and black as well," replied the attentive salesman.

"Hey, then I'll take it in all three colors."

Unsure of how to say it, the salesman finally managed: "I'm afraid that will put you over your credit limit."

"Well, then, here, put it on my new Visa card."

In addition to fighting the emotional, psychological and legal wars, many people going through divorce unwittingly wage a war against themselves. Stacy D. Phillips helps her clients and her readers call a truce with . . .

THE ENEMIES WITHIN

While many of the wars you will fight during your marital demise are closely connected with the dealings between you and your ex, in the emotional, psychological and legal sense, you can become involved in many other types of war. Some of these wars are the ones in which you will be fighting with, and against, yourself!

These Internal Wars can wage just as viciously against you as the Three Typical Wars: that is, if you let them. In fact, the Enemies Within can be even more pervasive since they can sometimes start the divorce ball rolling or exacerbate any one of the Three Typical Wars already in progress. These Enemies Within can also outfit the other side with ammunition to use against you. And quite often these Enemies Within can serve as the catalyst for self-inflicted injury. In other words, as a result of declaring war upon yourself!

With that in mind, this chapter is dedicated to profiling the Enemies Within and offering sound reasons why it is in your best interest not to let them control you.

Consider this age-old concept: In conflict there is man against man, man against nature, and man against himself. The latter is the subject of discussion here.

I have broken these "Internal" wars into two categories. I refer to them as the "Way Too Much" or "Far Too Little" Wars.

With either the "Way Too Much War" or the "Far Too Little War," keep in mind, neither of them is any different in concept than the Three Typical Wars. What's in sharp contrast is that these Internal Wars attack from the inside, while the others usually strike from the outside.