Assessing Your Current State of Affairs
Stacy D. Phillips provides a self-evaluation quiz in each chapter to help the reader take stock of his or her situation, whether they are considering a divorce, going through a divorce or have already ended a marriage or relationship.
WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHOEVER YOU ARE
It is time now to get to work on your first assignment, a quiz that will help you identify where you rank in the Big Six on the "Control" scale.
I have broken this "quiz" into four sections in order to address the important questions that one should ask of oneself- issues that will help you determine what needs changing, what currently works in your favor, what's tripping you up, what's causing you angst and sleepless nights, and ultimately, where control seems to be important to you. I have presented these with a keen focus on doing nothing more than getting you in touch with an awareness of what you are in control of, what you have a semblance of control over, and where you are clearly out of control.
It could very well be that you have been avoiding a candid assessment, hoping that "things" would simply change all by themselves. In all my years of practice I have come to know that each client of mine has had to be in charge of his or her affairs in order to move forward with a productive and harmonious life.
So depending on whether you are still married (like the Fence-Lady), in marriage limbo (like The Doctor), going through the chaos of a divorce like so many (you are not alone!), or still feeling the effects of one, (you may be one of those divorced for twelve years asking: "will this ever be over?"), you will be able to identify where control is an issue or at issue. The results of this "test" will be very important as I later discuss which ones can benefit from legal remedies and which ones you can manage on your own without the help of an attorney. The following is what you should accomplish with your answers:
- Identify where you are in terms of control in the geography of the Big Six;
- Pinpoint who or what is in control;
- Evaluate whether or not you want or need control in each of the categories of concern;
- Pave the way to introduce opportunities that will aid you in reclaiming, asserting and maintaining control in positive ways.
