• Help readers understand the “anatomy” of control
  • Help readers understand the differences between the three major wars
  • Help readers identify in which of the three wars they are currently involved
  • Help readers identify the six key categories where a power struggle is currently at issue (just as it/they were during the duration of relationship/marriage)
  • Help readers understand the book’s self-actualizing worksheet homework assignments (after each chapter) that make their reading experience highly personal


  • What are my control issues?
  • Which war am I in? Who’s winning?
  • How can I win the wars, productively, leaving everyone whole?
  • How can I get, gain, assume and maintain control of my divorce?

Continue Reading The author’s “promise” to the reader during the divorce process is as follows

”Don’t be fooled! This book is not just for people coping with divorce. It’s just as valuable for people coping with relationships. Stacy targets issues about self and significant others that forces introspection and ultimately makes relationships stronger.”

— Harvey Levin, Executive Producer, TMZ.com

”I regard Stacy Phillips as one of the preeminent family law attorneys in the country. Her insights in this book are invaluable. The lessons are hard-hitting and approached in such an easy-to-assimilate way.”

— Raoul Felder, Celebrity Divorce Lawyer, New York, New York

”Wow! A book about divorce that will save you legal fees and your sanity. It will enable you to regain control of your life when you thought that it wasn’t possible. Don’t get divorced without it.”

— Mark Goulston, M.D., author of “The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There.”

“Stacy distinguishes herself by bypassing the usual, unsubstantiated advice on handling hardships that you often find from most relationship experts. With her hands-on experience with the issues that really tear couples apart, she boils down the psychological jargon to the essence of what truly transforms petty spats into full-blown battles in a relationship – and ultimately, offering genuine solutions to survive through the separation process.”

— Arnold Chao, Lead Editor, Yahoo!

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Continue Reading Praise for Stacy’s Book

Stacy D. Phillips, a certified family law specialist and the author of “Divorce, It’s All About Control: How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars,” offers her insight, knowledge, and experience to support readers coping with divorce and avoiding common divorce battles. Jockeying for control is at the heart of most contentious divorces, and Ms. Phillips explains how to regain and maintain control throughout this stressful process.

Ms. Phillips is a Partner at Blank Rome LLP. She is a nationally recognized family law practitioner, handling primarily high-net-worth and high-profile divorce cases. She has guided clients through critical transitions in their lives for more than 36 years with experience in every facet of family law, including:

  • Complex divorce actions
  • High-conflict custody cases
  • Domestic violence cases
  • Same-sex divorce/dissolution matters
  • Paternity cases
  • Pre-nuptial and post-nuptial agreements

Ms. Phillips is known for her skilled persuasion, adept negotiation, aggressive advocacy, and compassion in representing her clients, whether in litigation, mediation, or Collaborative Divorce. She is a Certified Family Law Specialist by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization.

Ms. Phillips is a contributing writer, editorial consultant, or commentator for select legal and consumer publications, including:

  • California Family Law Monthly, 2006-2020
  • Divorce Magazine
  • The Huffington Post: Divorce
  • Los Angeles Daily Journal
  • Los Angeles Business Journal
  • C-Suite Quarterly Magazine

Ms. Phillips is a sought-after commentator on matrimonial issues in the news, having appeared on numerous local and national radio and television shows including:

  • NBC The Today Show
  • ABC News 20/20
  • ABC Good Morning America
  • CBS News Sunday Morning
  • BBC News
  • CNN Headline News
  • Fox Business News
  • MSNBC The Last Word With Lawrence O’Donnell
  • MSNBC The Rachel Maddow Show
  • VH1 All Access – Celebrity Breakups
  • HLN Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell
  • Access Hollywood
  • E! Entertainment News
  • Dr. Drew Show

Learn More About the Author
Continue Reading About the Author